Time to break the silence

Well I think it is now time to talk, as I can only stay quiet for so long. Well the main reason I guess for going quiet, is this dissatisfaction. As I feel like I received a blessing from the Finns who visited but I had not broken into the heavenlies, if that makes any sense. So I decided to fast the internet as one way to breakthrough. But I found myself still getting on the net(but with no comdemnation, as if it was alright to do this), but I have to say that I wasn't spending as much time as I was and also I was not drawn to certain sites. These certain sites were not bad but the fruit it produced in me was bad.
So I feel a sense of release to 'get back' on the net, even though I never really left! But I have to say that there is a growing peace in my heart, which I know is God. I think it has to do with my attempts to meditate (it is funny how I wince at using that word), to grow in this holy discipline. Though I have to say I am very much the novice. I say this as I can't wait to be able to sit in my beanbag (my place of meditation) and not find myself waking up from having dozed off.
But the journey is fun and I guess in the napping God is doing something in the secret, don't ask me what, just know that He is doing something!