I love His Bride

Melbourne

2007-03-09T13:20:00.000+10:00

Been and seen Melbourne, at least some of it! I have to admit that I liked Melbourne, though I wouldn't want to live there. I much prefer living here in Brisbane, but as a place to visit I would highly recommend Melbourne.

I had the opportunity to visit the botannical gardens that are in Melbourne and I had a really beautiful time there. The place is really beautiful and there is a wide variety of plant life there. Also I just had this real deep sense of peace, the peace that you know can only come from God. I was just walking around the gardens, enjoy creation and communion with God.

It may even been a little of what Adam experienced, when he walked with God in the Garden of Eden during the cool of the day

Alot of change

2006-10-19T21:01:00.000+10:00

I just recently changed work depots, just 2 weeks after returning to my home depot from another different depot. So to make this clear, I have changed work depots twice in the last couple of months compared with only once in the last 2 years.
Then there is the change of home churches as I am joining Geoff Armitage in his intentional interim pastorship at Cannon Hill Baptist. So God has me going through alot of change, ever since returning from Finland

War wounds

2006-10-18T20:56:00.000+10:00

Well I have had to change depots for work and I have only been there for two days and already I have war wounds. Bumps, bruises, cuts and scraps, grazes and marks. I spend several months at Mayne depot and nothing. I move to Banyo and I get beaten up, there must be an easier way to make money!!

Connect Australia

2006-09-11T17:45:00.000+10:00

Well it is official I will be going Sydney to attend a gathering over the weekend of the 15th to the 17th of this month. The gathering is being called by Donny Mcgregor and it is for young 'emerging' leaders. So I guess that is why I don't know what to expect in going, as I don't see myself in any leadership postion to validate the invitation. But hey they invited me and I was hoping to be able to meet Marc van der Woude, when I heard that he was coming out to Australia.
So off I go, well not until the 15th

My own computer

2006-09-08T17:45:00.000+10:00

Well I have finally got my one computer, actually it is a laptop! I have had it for the last two weeks and it is really cool having my own computer. And also trying to create a wireless network in my home.
So I can be in my room and still access the interent and there are no wires for anyone to trip over!

Some great news

2006-09-08T17:43:00.000+10:00

I have to items of news to share, I will share the least item of the good news first. Well I just found out today that I will be able to claim back form the government about 1900 dollars which practically pays for my new laptop

And the second bit of good news, which is so much better than the one I mentioned before, is that I am going to be an uncle! As I just found out last night, that my brother's wife, Dayna, is ten weeks pregnant. So in early April I am going to be an uncle, and I believe I am going to have a nephew! But if it isn't, she will still be special!

Freedom

2006-07-17T19:02:00.000+10:00

The first thing I want to say about the whole trip is the absolute freedom I had to be ME. And I think and hope that the people that joined the group during our travels had the same freedom.

For me, it was so good to be able to be and to do what I felt the Lord lead me to do. As for myself I find that I seem to follow more the expectations that others have on me, also maybe their perceived expectations of me. So to have this liberty was just great.

Now it is being challenged back here in Australia. I went to my home church straight after landing in Australia and it was hard to see that people were at a different place then I was. So I was faced with either feeling guilty that I wasn't at the same place as people in my church were or to start judging them for not being where I was.

So it was good to be able to see the battle for what it was. An attempt to get me to fall back into old ways and to not be living in peace with who I am and where God is taking me. So I was able to choose to rejoice at where I was with the Lord and to bless those in my church who were in a different place!

Ooops I did it again

2006-07-17T18:47:00.000+10:00

Ok ok Laura, I get the point!! Again I start the journey but don't seem to complete it. I had wanted to make regular updates on my blog during my trip to the North. But still found it hard to get on line, I think I am going to follow Jan Inge's example (scary I know) and serious look into getting myself a Notebook. So I can access the net easier while I travel, especially if things go the way as I think they are going to go. Meaning more travelling around Australia this time instead of the Northern countries.
But now instead of raw writings of the events you get to read the more processed thoughts, or correctly you get to read through me trying to process all that happened while I was in the north. That is if anyone is reading this blog! I would have thought that I have frustrated everyone away by now!

I am half way there

2006-06-22T22:48:00.000+10:00

Well I know that this has been awhile since anyone has heard this voice and I have probaly bored every one away. But since I am on a mission trip, will just started one, I thought that this is the best way to keep people away of what I am up to.
So I have just arrived in Singapore, my first time here, though I wont see much as I will be flying out in about 1 hour. But it is nice to have this first leg of the journey out of the way, though I have another 14 hour flight soon!
So Finland and Norway here I come!!

Time to break the silence

2006-01-21T13:17:00.000+10:00

Well I think it is now time to talk, as I can only stay quiet for so long. Well the main reason I guess for going quiet, is this dissatisfaction. As I feel like I received a blessing from the Finns who visited but I had not broken into the heavenlies, if that makes any sense. So I decided to fast the internet as one way to breakthrough. But I found myself still getting on the net(but with no comdemnation, as if it was alright to do this), but I have to say that I wasn't spending as much time as I was and also I was not drawn to certain sites. These certain sites were not bad but the fruit it produced in me was bad.
So I feel a sense of release to 'get back' on the net, even though I never really left! But I have to say that there is a growing peace in my heart, which I know is God. I think it has to do with my attempts to meditate (it is funny how I wince at using that word), to grow in this holy discipline. Though I have to say I am very much the novice. I say this as I can't wait to be able to sit in my beanbag (my place of meditation) and not find myself waking up from having dozed off.
But the journey is fun and I guess in the napping God is doing something in the secret, don't ask me what, just know that He is doing something!

Deepen my sense

2006-01-04T18:49:00.000+10:00

Reading a book with prayer sand meditations on the book of Romans. And a sentence from the first prayer has caught my attention and my heart.

Deepen my sense that, in the gospel, I have something to live up to, a great purpose to be inspired by, something larger than myslef to which I am duty-bound and from which I may derive direction and energy for living.

Deepen my sense, Lord!

Many thoughts

2006-01-02T12:14:00.000+10:00

I am reading through a book called "Becoming conversant with the Emerging Church" by D. A. Carson, I got it for Christmas. As I said that this blog was going to be about my journey with the Bride, and it has so far been more about me. But I guess its just it is all part of the journey, as I am part of the bride.
So reading this book has started alot of thoughts and questions, and unfortunately I can't remember them. But I want to share something that happened when I was surfing the net, starting at Marc blog. And I came across this story about these servants of the Lord (as they are not missionaries in the usual sense of the word) reaching out to Native Americans. And they shared about how they "do" church in this culture. And I found myself thinking, briefly, that is wrong, they're theology is wrong. It was like a knee jerk reaction.
It just goes to show that I have along way to go with this whole new 'thing'!

Good start to a new year

2006-01-01T11:21:00.000+10:00

It was a good start to the new year! For new year's eve, I went with a group of friends to see the movie 'The Lion, The witch and the Wardrobe" It is a very good movie and they have done it very close to the original book. Which brought me great joy, as I hate it when hollywood ruins a good book, and especially considering that the Chronicles of Narnia are part of my childhood. So it was a pleasant experience, not an epic like the Lord of the rings trilogy but still a very good movie.
I got emotional with the wrestle that Peter was experiencing. The wrestle to lead and to take up his sword and his destiny/calling. This is because it is something that I am wrestling with, to take up my sword and be who God has called me to be.
So after the movie, threee female friends and myself made the journey to Tambourine mountain to prayer in the new year. We shared some of the things that we are thankful to for what he did in the year 2005. Then we prayed these back to God and then it flowed into us laying down our desires for the new year and asking Jesus to come into this new year!
So may the Lord pour out His rich blessings on you all in this new year!

All good things come to an end

2005-12-30T18:42:00.000+10:00

Well today was the day that my family said good-bye to Mikko, the last of the finns. We said good-bye to Maarit and Antti on Tuesday. I am not including Jussi as we are going to be seeing him some time later this year, when exactly I don't know as this is up to the Lord!
So ends this part of the journey, this season in my life. I have to say that it has been a blessing having them here. God has really been blessing me through their presence. Though there were some very tough moments along the way. But I guess it is just learning to be in the Kingdom to be open and honest with each other. It is something that I am not too good at, I am open when I want to be open.
However I think the Lord is wanting me (and the church) to learn to become transparent with others. Which as I said before is not something I do naturally, so I guess I am going to have to learn to lean on Jesus for help in this!

Finally, part 3, I hope I haven't bored you too much

2005-12-28T18:47:00.000+10:00

Well on sunday night it was a wonderful time of just free worship and also having Antti free to play the piano was wonderful. And as he was playing I just felt to go and sit near him and to pray for him as he played. And after I while I felt that I should go and lay my hands on his shoulders. But I just pass this off as my own thoughts and that it would be distracting. However after alittle while later I just felt the the Lord say 'just go and put your hands on him' it was said in such a simple, gentle and loving way that I knew that it was the Lord.
So it was great to hear the Lord in such a clear way, it has been awhile! Also we had a time of interceding for the city of Logan, now if you know me you know that I have a tendenacy to pray out loud and to pray loudly. However I have not had a liberty in my spirit to do this in a long while. So during this time I was able to do what I like to do, pray out loud and loudly!!
And the night was ended with Antti being prayed for by everyone who was at the sunday night!

It is still taking me awhile (part 2)

2005-12-26T08:20:00.000+10:00

Well I just deleted a large post as I thought this is too large! And thought I will just keep it short and sweet. On sunday my pastor preached on God's appointed times and dealing with the disappointed that comes when this appointments that God has given us take their time to happen or when things come in the way of the appointment.
And when the altar call was given I knew I had to get out there to deal with it. And as I was on the floor on my knees I found myself calling out (quietly) to God for my heart back. As my heart had become hard and bitter because of things (long story) that had happened to cause me to feel/think that the things God had placed in my heart would never come to pass. But God through my time with the Finns had soften my heart enough to realise that God could re-appointment. So my time on my knees was taking the healing process to the next phase.
And it was a good time, as ny eyes started to fill with tears, which is something that hasn't happened in awhile. So it was good to start to get my heart back!

I know it has taken me awhile...(part 1)

2005-12-24T08:50:00.000+10:00

But as they say better later than never! Though it will be hard to remember all that happened last sunday, especially considering I am feeling tired from my rest days :) at the beach with my Finnish friends (this is for another post). But I guess it will mean that the important stuff will be talked about, the stuff that has touch my heart and is now a part of me!
I have to say that my mind was a bit distracted at the start of sunday morning as I was concentrating on something that I was going to do for my Finnish friends, Maarit and Antti. I will get to that later, but I have to say that the worship at the beginning of the service, just blew me away. The passion and the power of it was just amazing, two songs and we were straight into the throne room. I can't try to explain it as that would diminsh it as it is something to be experienced. I felt guilty, as I felt that I was interupting something special and powerful, when mum (the worship leader) started to introduce me, but what happened next was just as powerful, but in a different way.
Now I was going to introduce the finns (easier to type that than my finnish friends Maarit and Antti :)) to the church. But I had something more planned, which was what I was concentrating on. As it was on my heart to bless Maarit and Antti, for them to feel like this is home, that they are loved, that they belong, you know all that good stuff. As I know that they don't really get that in Finland.
So I had decided to give them an "old" finnish traditional welcome, which I have learned is not that old! It is where you get new people to the group to stand up and for everyone else to come in and give them a big group hug. So I was concentrating how can I get this done in a church context, and by God's grace it worked out. Which I am so grateful for as I think I would have been devestated if it had worked out.
I can still remember Antti's body language as people were come out to welcome him. It was like a child trying to hide in a corner but having no corner to hide in. And I can remember one of the woman in my church coming up to Antti and kissing him on the cheek in a loving motherly way, it was beautiful and very special to me. It gives me warm feelings just thinking about it. And it had a real sense of family about it, so as I said it was powerful but in a different way. To see this mass of people all close together as family and to see my dear friends in the middle of that. It was great! Thankyou Jesus!
I think I am going to have to leave it here as a part one and write I think another 2 parts.

A tour of the high places

2005-12-21T06:44:00.000+10:00

I should get on with talking about what happened over the weekend. So I will start with saturday for this post and move to sunday on my next post. The picture is of two of the "mountains" that make up the Glasshouse Mountains in Queensland. I took Maarit, Michelle (my sister's friend from Church) and Antti up to see this site as I know that it has a significance to the Aboringinal people. So knowing that Maarit had an interest in the aboriginal people I thought it would be a good place to go.
It turned out to be a good time up on the "mountain", it was good to see Maarit and Michelle starting to get to know each other. And to just enjoy each others company!
In the evening it was up to Mt coot-tha, a small mountain that overlooks the city of Brisbane, to see the lights of the city and to go and pray. After seeing the lights, we went to a park away from all the people to pray. The park we went to was the park where the Youth Arise monthly prayer times started off again after a long hiatus. I just felt to come back here to pray, especially for youth arise.
But I didn't know that god had other plans!! Now the prayer time was one where no one is really praying. So I thought there are things on my heart to pray, not major burdens, just things I felt to pray for. Plus I had that feeling of responsibility that i had "dragged" these guys up here, so someone should start the ball rolling! However after alittle while, Antti asks Maarit what does she think. And then Maarit replies that she feel s we should pray for me, to which Antti replied he felt the same way.
Now I can tell you that I wanted to go and hide, from all this attention. And it isn't like I can say "mmmm no I don' t think so". They gathered around me and started to pray and to pray and to pray and to pray and to..... you get the picture. They kept pn praying, and I have to say that I don't really know what they were praying as they were doing it either in tongues or in Finnish. But it was weird as there was no real response in my spirit to what they were prayer, I mean like there was no tears or anything. However this was to get me ready for Sunday which is a post I will get to later!

Some of the most toughest days of my life!

2005-12-20T20:54:00.000+10:00

Well I have to say that the last few days have been very tough on me, emotionally speaking. As the dynamic with Maarit and Antti was about to change as their friends Jussi and Mikko were coming back from the Solomons.
So I knew in my heart that the dynamic of which I had enjoyed was about to change. And this change was weighing heavily on my heart. I guess it is hard to describe here - the fear of being the outcast again as it was when I was at school was welling in my heart.
Which in turn started to cause my heart to harden, in a defence to this "imaged" isolation. So I found myself in this wrestle, trying to keep my heart from being harden once again and with the fear of being isolated once again. So I have to say that my heart has been pulled this way and that way. I still find it so hard to be open and transparent! Even to the point where I need to turn to a computer journal to express my battles!
So it has been tough couple of days!

A challenging day

2005-12-16T17:43:00.000+10:00

Today was definitely a challenge! As I took Maarit, Antti and my sister Jane down to Musgrave park. Now Musgrave park is a significant piece of land for the Murri people. The Murri people is the name given to queensland indigenous people. I didn't know this until I read some information that Maarit had downloaded of the net. It is because of Maarit that we went to this park. And to be honest when Maarit contacted Antti about going to Musgrave park, last night, and Antti tell me I was hit with this great amount of fear. So I had to keep laying this at His feet and asking for His help for the next day.
And God always provides!! First we spent sometime praying for the indigenous people and for me what came out was the truth that it was white people that caused the indigenious people to become the alcoholics that alot of them are. Also I had to keep asking the Lord to give me His heart for these people. Even as I write this I am amazed/shocked at my apathy towards these people. So I know that the Lord has some work to do on my heart! But I know that it has to be done as the church is about reaching out to those least fortunate, to the poor, to the widow, to the orphan.
And if we want the Kingdom the kingdom takes care of the hurting, the lonely, the drunken, the lost!!

A time of prayer

2005-12-15T19:26:00.000+10:00

Today was a time spent in prayer, I guess that is why I titled this post as "A time of prayer" :) It was a good time but also something that I am not used to and found it hard at times to connect with God and to stay focused on God.
See in this time of Prayer, Paul, my pastor, had us trying free worship and prayer. Which means there was just music playing and you could sing along with the music, make up your own words to the music or pray through things that the Lord was laying on your heart. Now this is a very different way, as I am used to coming in as a group and having singing songs that I know reasonable well and then flow into pray as the Spirit takes over. However in this time of prayer some of the, actually most of the, songs I didn't even know. Then there was the times where it was either Antti playing on the piano or Marty play on the guitar. And when I say playing, they were playing just music as they felt led to play. So this was very very different.
Also another thing I was battling was my concern for Maarit and Antti. I was worrying "are they getting thing out of this", "are they bored", "are they sensing that we should go on a different track but didn't want to rude". So I had to wrestle against these doubts and concerns.
However though it was a wrestle, it was a good wrestle. As I have been suffering a lack of confidence in praying out loud in a group, actually I would say just praying. So I had to force myself to pray, especially when one of the local pastor came to be prayed for. And then later on I had a small burden to pray for the nations of the world and especially the nations of Europe.

Wet and Wild

2005-12-15T08:07:00.000+10:00

Had a wonderful time yesterday with my friends Antti and Maarit, we went to wet and wild the loocal water park here in Queensland. And one of the best things is I didn't get badly sun burnt afterwards, so I am not wincing with pain as I type! Once we had finished there it was off to delicious ice cream! Finally our day finished with the Bethlehem Experience, this is a production done by the local churches of The gold coast, please note the plural - churches!
This production is a tour of the city of Bethlehem at the time of Christ's birth with real animals and sand spread over the place, beggars calling out and soldiers tell you to march on. It takes you through the Christmas story but it doesn't end there! They then present the gospel, of Chris dying on the cross for our sins. This is what really blew me away, that they didn't just tell the nice christmas story with baby Jesus, they brought it to the point why baby jesus had to come and to grow up to become our sacrifice!!

The Finns have arrived

2005-12-13T07:59:00.000+10:00

Well today is a good, maybe I should say that yesterday was a good. This is because today is not yet over and that yesterday my two friends from Finland arrived here in Brisbane. They are here sent by God to pray and to journey with Jesus, at least this is what they tell me! :) But it is good to have them here, I have to admit that with them coming I have been thinking alot about my trip to Finland and all the wonderful people who are back there!
Also this is going to be interesting as Antti(one of my Finnish friends) is also post a blog about his journey. So what might be a good day to him, I might see as a bad day and visa versa. So it will be interesting to read his different perspective as things go through the time they are here!
But I would like to Thank God for sending them here, as I know it will be a blessing to me if not to those they meet!

Re-inspired

2005-11-03T20:00:00.000+10:00

Well it has been awhile since I last wrote anything up here, actually I think it has been about a month. However after seeing that a friend of mine from Finland had started up his own blog, I was suddenly re-inspired to start writing.
I guess it is something that you might have to get used to if you are reading this blog, the long silences. As I have a tendency to go off and stop talking, be it in the real world or online. It is usually when I am struggling on some issue or maybe I should say mulitple issues :) And I then retrack into myself, as I try to sort through this and then once I am ready, out I come.
Though I think that it maybe something God will want to deal with in the near future. As this is another reason why I have started to write again. As though I haven't work through the latest 'issue' I feel that I should at least come out and be part of this online community, is this another form of church?? And again it is because of my friend Antti as he says "When I am happy, be happy and when I am not please pray for me" So if Antti is willing to be out there no matter what I guess I can come and join him.
Thanks Antti!

A different Men's retreat

2005-09-11T14:38:00.000+10:00

Well over Friday night and saturday, I was able to spend sometime with some Christian men. Saw the most outrageous water baptisms that I have ever seen. I have never seen God manifest Himself like it, as people were being raised in Christ (raised out of the water). Out of the group that were baptised, 4 started shaken violently as they came out of the water. Actually one guy, who was a huge guy, started to quake and others had to TRY and drag him out of the water. But he wasn't going anywhere quickly, as he just settled down in the water and was just resting in the Lord. He looked like a little baby, as he had his peace all over his face. It was just amazing to see, what God was doing in these guys. You knew it was God, as they had a time to share after dinner, and as the Word says you can tell by the fruits, and these guys had fruit!!!

I'm enjoying this!

2005-09-08T17:00:00.000+10:00

It is amazing how when we unload our burdens, even if no one is listening, a refreshing comes. I say this because after my last post, I was in a better mood then when I started writing. Thank you Lord!
Had cell group last night, it flowed well but there is a desire in me for it to flow better. One thing I learnt was that the members of my cell group are NOT animal people! I am still learning how to release people to share what is on their hearts. When to give them space to think and when to specifically ask them to share, and what questions to ask that will help them to share their heart. I wish I had the wisdom and the insight that Jesus had, He knew when to speak and when to be silent and what to ask. (See John 4)
I guess God loves seeing us learning how to walk, I suppose it gives Him great joy to see His children trying to walk and falling and getting back up. Just like a real parent enjoying their child's first step.
As I type, I sense the Father smiling over His stumbling children as they are reaching out to Him.
It is good that we serve a loving Father!!

Not the best of days

2005-09-07T16:24:00.000+10:00

Well I have to confess that today was not one of my better days (spiritually speaking). I guess I wanted to 'ignore' God today. Didn't really connect with God in the morning with prayer, actually I feel asleep and during the day my heart was not really focused on God. An example is a conversation I had with one of my workmates, wasn't dirty/evil but it was not something I would have talked about had Jesus been there in the flesh.
I feel that this 'ignoring God' day comes from my recent failures. As I am struggling to walk in the miraculous, or more to the point to take the step of faith into the miraculous.
My pastor is trying to encourage us all to step out and to expect the miraculous. To pray for people that we would meet at the shops, who are sick and expect the miraculous to happen. Now at work during the last couple of days, there has been at least two people who in general conversation shared of physical pain. And when it arose the thought comes 'I could pray for them' and then fear rises up (fear of man and fear that God wont show up) and then comes the thought 'no, not now' and the momment passes.
So disappointment and frustraion, feeling like a failure - you know the thoughts that floods ones soul when we don't pursue God to the full.
But it is like the 'penny has not dropped' for me in this aspect of the miraculous side of the Kingdom. I know the truth in my head but it's like it hasn't descending into my heart and become life changing revelation. The type of revelation where there is no turning back, you know, the revelation of our need for a saviour etc...
Lucky for us all that the grace of God is so full and so complete that He looks pass our stuff ups and just sees His child!

It's time to start

2005-09-06T20:10:00.000+10:00

As I have been reading some of my friends blogs, I felt that it is now time for me to join this phenomena known as blogging. Also I feel that I need a place to voice my thoughts about His bride, the Church, as it is something thatis dear to my heart. This has been started by seeing a book in the local Christian bookstore called "Becoming Conversant with the Emerging church". I saw this and wonder what is the "emerging church"? I tried to find an answer by quickly glancing through this book, to no avail. But this has started me on this journey, and I feel that alot of things are going to be challenged and shaken. So it is with great trepidation that I take my first few steps of discovery into the beautiful and the mysterious.